When and Why It’s “OK” to Lie


Although you may question my morality, or lack thereof, ironically, this is a very honest piece. People always question me with an “are you sure about that” look when I mention that I lie all the time. To be fair, I’m also a psychopath so it also comes quite easily to me. Lying is home sweet home for pathological liars. Most times, I actually don’t lie for no reason at all, though it has become an entertaining habit that I have picked up.

OK so you’re probably wondering when and why on earth does she think it’s really OK to lie? Well, I would say always. Just make sure your lie is foolproof, and if you’re a bad liar please don’t try to jump into this. If I feel uncomfortable about a lie, I usually try to rethink the idea before I put it out there. You need to be able to force or fake believe your own lie to be able to sell it to your audience. Often, if you pause, people will fill in your lie with what they think is most believable to them. They essentially do your work for you. Try to make a distinction between reality and your lie after it is used. Lying well will make you question your memory. Again, I cannot stress enough that you must be prepared before you lie. Think of every single question they could ask about the lie. Try and “proof read” the logic involved with a trusted friend if it is a substantial lie.

Remorse isn’t an issue here for me. I lie whenever I can avoid something undesirable. This is often to get what I want in life. You should only lie to the degree that you are 100% comfortable with what you are saying or if the repercussions aren’t devastating.

If you are ever caught in a lie DO NOT PANIC.

Keep going with it until the person is confused about the entire idea. Gaslighting after the fact may not be the most ethical way of dealing with a situation like this, but it is effective. Only use it as a last resort.

Some tips for the new liar are the following.
1.Try and keep contractions in your wording. It makes your lie believable to the seasoned lie spotter.
2. Write down your story if it gets too complicated. Be sure to keep this well- hidden.
3. Make your lie extremely similar to a likely or real situation. That will make it easier to remember.
4. Keep some level of eye contact, but not too much. Try to get your body language to mimic honesty.
5. Practice your lie out loud.
6. Use self-deception to lie effectively.
7. Justify your lying to yourself.
8. Know your audience, and how gullible they are.
9. Manipulate! This is especially useful if your audience starts questioning you.  The worse listeners feel about the situation, the better your chance you have to say absolutely anything you want.
10. If you are caught in a lie, tell a small aspect of the truth to minimize your wrongdoings.

About Dominique Nordquist

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