Find Forgiveness to Find Inner Peace



Forgiving someone can be hard, especially if they have hurt you in a serious way. I had to learn a lesson about forgiveness when I was at a young age; you have to be able to forgive in order to be happy. Experiencing that kind of hurt and anger as a young child, really changes your perspective and outlook on things in life, and it took me a long time to figure out if I truly felt that way about things, or if I was just hurt.

When I was about 5 years old, my dad walked out and left my mom and I. When he left I didn’t see or talk to him for about three years; he didn’t try to call me or see me or  anything. Everything seemed to change after that and nothing was the same, and I kept wondering why I wasn’t good enough for my dad to stay in my life. It was rough not having my dad around at such a young age, especially when he got remarried and her kids moved in and started to get the father that I should have had. I started to resent him and his wife for a long time after that, and it started to just make me an angry person all around. At that point all of the anger that I had towards him for leaving, had started to take its toll on my mental health and overall happiness. As a little kid, it seemed like my whole life had fallen apart. I started to get jealous of my friends whose parents were still together and they seemed to be happy together. Once he finally did reach out to me to try and made amends, it was really hard to forgive him at first. In my eyes he had left me behind to go start a better life with someone else and had made his choice that he didn’t want me anymore. 

It took a lot of time to fully forgive him, and for the longest time I wasn’t sure if I actually wanted to or that if I even could. Looking back now, I don’t think that I hated him because he had left, but actually because it took him so long to reach out and call me. As I got older, I realized that it wasn’t worth holding onto all that anger, especially at such a young age. Now that I’m older, I am a lot happier since I learned to forgive him for not coming around and moved on from it. Our relationship still isn’t the best or where I would like it to be, but it’s still getting better than what it was at before.

  After taking what I know now, and doing some research about forgiveness, I have learned that it actually is crucial for your health to be able to forgive others. The mayo clinic had a great article that had some direct examples of how forgiveness can help you, such as lower blood pressure, less stress or anxiety, and a stronger immune system. Holding onto these grudges can also lead to bringing anger and bitterness into new relationships, feelings of depression, and losing the ability to truly connect with others. Healthline’s website highlights a key point about forgiveness, forgiving someone can lead to a repaired relationship, this was the case with my dad and I; but just because you forgive them doesn’t mean that you have to continue contact with them. The article also highlighted how in some instances, forgiving the other person can eventually lead to them realizing how much they have hurt you. Reading these articles really resonated with me because I can definitely vouch that this is true. Now that my dad is back in my life I can tell a difference in improved mental health and that my relationships with others are a lot healthier now than what they were.

By Chloe Davidson, Activist Writer

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