O’ the Professors You’ll Have


O’ the Professors You’ll Have

Now as students go through college education, they will tend to notice the quaint “uniqueness” of the different personalities they encounter throughout their time here. Anyone could avoid the one overachieving goody-two-shoes or engage in some erudite conversation with the groundskeeper, but no student is able to avoid the ever-present threat posed to them by their professors. From poor teaching methods to strange quirks, here are five instructors that every student should be prepared to face in this intricate game of learning.

The Rambler

First up we have one that many people take as a blessing. The idea of a professor going off on a tangent about some far-fetched topic may seem like a well-deserved break from a series of lectures. A few moments of eye-rolling are much better than falling asleep in class.  It’s the only class that you can bring up some random topic and never get a lick of work done. However once homework or a test comes up, students may find their knowledge on the subject to be a bit lacking. Instead of being able to memorize the Henderson Hassebrock equation, you know that the best cheese to use in a sandwich is swiss. We all love to hear a good story once and a while, but a teacher’s main objective is to teach the class. Just hope the rest of the class doesn’t fire up the teacher on some current event.


The Activist

Next up comes a professor whose wardrobe consists specifically of slacks, short-sleeve button-down shirts, and sweaters. The activist will constantly try to get the class to think heavily on the topic on hand; what the teacher doesn’t comes to terms with is most students are just trying to get through the day. Being “down with the kids” the activist will actively seek out input from the students. This means the class is pretty much a series of blank looks exchanged from the teacher and the students as the professor sits there hoping for a bright mind to come forth from the faceless crowd. Overall, expect to complete series of group works and listen to long lectures filled with long moments of silence and cursing.

The Ghost

Now the ghost is a rather elusive professor. At first one may excuse his absences in the class as a simple mistake.  Eventually the constant fear of the professor walking in right as you decide to call it quits on the lecture will drive you to the point of insanity. As soon as the whole class decides to leave after waiting in the room for thirty minutes, the ghost will appear. It becomes a sort of sadistic ritual with the teacher never appearing until everyone is ready to leave. With mental anguish in hand students are now forced to sit through yet another boring lecture fretting that they will not have enough time to go over everything. Furthermore, with his office hours constantly shifting, encountering this specter outside of the before-mentioned summoning becomes slimmer.


Ask the T.A.

The next one is a bit more situational. This professor will not be able to describe a subject to you with any clarity. Whether it be cultural differences or simply an arrogant personality, students will at best hope for a C in this class. The most common answers to questions that the students have is: “Look at the book. It will tell you everything.” These professors  generally don’t have to look over their shoulders. They’ve normally attained tenure and are just riding out the rest of their days on the pained screams of students. Visiting these professors outside of class will leave you either more confused or give you a foul taste in your mouth. Be prepared to visit the labs or ask for help from some outside sources.




Read My Book

Now the final selection of professors is comprised of personalities not too dissimilar from arrogant high school students. These professors will write some piece of literature and expect the whole world to eat it up. It becomes a mandatory purchase that is tacked on to the high costs of the textbook and the class itself. After going through some black-market website, you will find that the class barely uses the book at all. At most, you will read the first chapter and receive some extra credit work tied into it. These teachers should have a tag attached to them declaring their want of students to spend more money than they have.

About Joseph Platt

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