Arts and Entertainment

Five Things You Say If You Play Guitar

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“Okay, this doesn’t look THAT hard,” I said to myself while clicking on another Jimmy Page solo.

Since I started playing six years ago, I’ve disgusted myself with cliches more than a few times.

Don’t take the high road, you’ve said all of these too. And if you don’t play guitar, this will sound like your friend that does.

  1. “Play This Bassline” 

You’re guilty of it too! You’ve come up with a progression you like, and even though you’ve never touched a bass in your life, you have a “line” you wrote on the four bottom strings that you want your friend to play. The problem is, he doesn’t play bass either.

Take my advice. It doesn’t sounds good on guitar, and putting reverb on it won’t make it better. 

2. “More Reverb”

Yes, reverb adds depth to a track. Yes, it also follows the current trend in music. Since Tame Impala took over the modern wave of music, reverb has been thrown on every possible track by every possible artist. Led Zeppelin was creative in their use of reverb, such as when they proceeded the main audio with it, but since then it been heavily overused.

My main problem with the overuse of reverb is the fact that it takes away from the guitarists technical ability. So much of the touch is lost in translation if you can’t hear when a note ends and note begins.

2. “Bedroom Guitarist” 

Yeah, you’re just not good enough. 

I’m joking, you’re great. 

I’ve preformed exactly one time in front of people I didn’t know. The vast majority of my performances are for my PC and dresser. To get to the coffee shops is the next step, but not necessarily always the goal. I have a life outside of music, and I don’t have time to pursue it. That doesn’t mean it’s impossible though, there are plenty of now wealthy and successful bedroom guitarists that got out of the house.

4. “Because someday someone is going to ask me to play it!”

Everyone has that one song that you can’t really explain why you know how to play it other than saying “because I knew someone was going to ask me to play it someday.”

For me that song is Party In The USA by Miley Cyrus and I have to say, it has a groovy guitar part in there. I looked up the tabs a while back to play it as a joke for a friend, and I really like how it’s played, so I perfected it. 

My buddy can nail Owl City’s “Fireflies” for no reason, and I have another friend who can play just about any theme song you can think of on ukulele.

5. “I don’t need the tabs!”

And now we’re sitting here waiting for you to learn the song because you thought you could sound it out by ear. Very few people have that musical ear, and the only way to develop it is to keep practicing, so look up the tabs and let’s play!

By Matt Hamel, Activist writer.

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