How To: Speak the Five Love Languages in Under Five Minutes


Here’s a more in-depth breakdown of the Love Languages and how they can be put to use.

In relationships, we sacrifice things we love for the people we love, but is it always enough? Are you listening to your partner? Are you fulfilling what they actually need and how they prefer to be loved? Part of being in a relationship that’s healthy and fulfilling is paying attention to what your partner is feeling and how they respond to different kinds of communication. In this article I will be exploring the different kinds of the different kinds of “Love Languages” that allow you and your partner to better understand each other’s needs.

There is no key to making relationships work (as much as we may wish there was) but these “tips” can help you along the way. Theorized in Gary Chapman’s 1995 book The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate, the five love languages can be described as five insights into how a person prefers to be loved. Chapman states that to find out someone’s love language, you must observe how they interact and love others. His five love languages are as follows:

  1. Quality Time
  2. Physical Touch
  3. Receiving Gifts
  4. Acts of Service (devotion)
  5. Words of Affirmation

Take some time to think about how YOU prefer to be loved.

Do you need quality time where your partner is willing to spend meaningful time with you? What about getting you gifts? Or if you’re trying to figure out how to love your partner in the best way, do they give quality time to their family and friends? Do they tell them how much they love them often or give them other consistent words of affirmation?

Chapman also states that each person has one or two primary love languages that they respond best to. By considering and utilizing these love languages into your relationship’s vocabulary, you are opening the door to a deeper connection with your partner. It creates healthy discussions and better communication as this deeper connection means a deeper understanding of each other.

Think about that special person in your life and ask yourself: do you want them to feel completely loved how they prefer to be loved? If so, try implicating the love languages into your relationship.

About Brenna Bergman

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